Now is the time to get unapologetically selfish!

Published on Nov 24, 2022

Woman in bath being unapologetically selfish

We’re told self care is important. That we need to look after ourselves before other people. But we’re also told that being selfish is bad. 

I recently took the opportunity to be unapologetically selfish and it was just what I needed. 

The burnout habit

Early in the morning, I’m rushing through the grocery store between dropping off my daughter at school and coaching my first client of the day. Looking around, I see I’m not the only one in a hurry. 

My nanny is sick. My husband is abroad. I wonder why the others are rushing. I smile at them with empathy. 

How do we end up like headless chickens running around as if we were on fire? 

It starts with saying yes to unwanted tasks and activities a bit too often. Then we keep pushing through and adapting to the “harder, better, faster, stronger culture”, and eventually we burn out. 

Time for doing nothing

As I sat in the car on my way to Poland a few weeks ago, I felt like I had fallen into that burnout habit of go-go-go. My body was aching, and I was tired.

The idea for our family holiday was to hike in the mountains. Not because we all love hiking, but because ‘that’s what you do when you are on holiday in the mountains’. To be honest, I like looking at the breathtaking views more than doing the actual hike.

When I woke up the first morning I looked through the window in our little house and had a beautiful view right there.

This time my whole body screamed, ‘I will stay here today!’

Katarina Stoltz with her feet up in a hammock being unapologetically selfish in Poland

And I did. I decided to be unapologetically selfish and silence all the ‘shoulds’, and the ‘it’s not appropriates’ and all the other guilt-inducing bullshit.

This was going to be my day of being lazy and doing nothing.

Effective energy management strategies

Being selfish is mean”, a client told me once. Many of us grew up hearing something similar.

What about you? What do you feel when you hear these words?




Resistant? Judgmental? A secret longing?

During my years as superwoman, I froze every time I heard any of those words. Grrrr. Anything but lazy! I’m strong and not the type who needs a lot of sleep and rest!

When was the last time you rested without feeling guilty?

Scientists have shown the value of taking what they call “microbreaks” throughout the workday.

These short breaks – five minutes or less – are effective energy management strategies and can be as simple as stretching, gazing out the window, snacking or having a five-minute mindful check-in with yourself.

I know, who has time for that when we have deadlines to meet and emails to reply to, right?

In fact, when we take time out to relax, we’re more engaged and productive – even more effective at our work tasks.

It’s short, but a microbreak can be golden if you do it regularly.

I know from my own experience that when I stopped using manicures and hairdresser appointments as the ONLY form of self-care, that’s when I felt the difference in my energy levels.

I started caring for my emotional and physical body EVERY DAY.

Okay, so if you are like me and have that tendency to fall into that burnout habit of go-go-go and the “if you can’t do it right, I do it” attitude, then you know what to do now, microbreaks!

Do you feel like you need a reminder every week to rest?

The prompts in my guided journal Time To Thrive help you identify what’s draining you so that you have more time for rest and for doing what lights you up!

My Time To Thrive journal

Users of my ‘Time To Thrive’ journal are telling me:

‘I finally got better at focusing on ONE thing at a time’

‘I feel so much more energised’

‘I’ve started to be more honest and self-compassionate. This journal is truly life-changing!’

Do you want to test it out for yourself and see if it helps you become a bit more unapologetically selfish? Do you want more time for microbreaks and some more fun?! Then grab a copy of my guided journal!

If you know someone who would benefit from being more selfish and self-compassionate to prevent burnout, share this journal.




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I’m Katarina

Welcome to my blog, where I share real-life stories and offer valuable and practical tips for how to achieve fulfillment without burning out.


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Learn how to break free from overthinking to feel healthy, happy and confident – the easy waywith my free guided journal.

Learn how to break free from overthinking to feel healthy, happy and confident – the easy way – with my free guided journal.