With no colleagues around or boss telling us what to do, being self-employed can feel lonely at times, and it can be hard to stay motivated. But it doesn’t have to be that way!

Today I will share my own experience of thriving as an entrepreneur and give you some helpful ideas to be happier and more productive in your own business. 

Co-working with a business buddy

When I arrived at Coconat, a ‘workation’ space just outside Berlin, my friend was already there. She met me at the entrance, her whole face smiling, and I knew we had a couple of fun, productive days ahead of us.

Kim is my business buddy. But not only that, we also bake Christmas cookies together and take our kids to amusement parks. We became friends during the lockdown when life as an entrepreneur, wife and mother was more challenging than normal.

In Zoom calls we gave one another feedback and held each other accountable. And our businesses survived the lockdown. But beyond that, we both expanded in ways we didn’t think possible in such uncertain times.

It was my third time at Coconat. A few years ago I went to write my thesis, and in the midst of the pandemic I went to brainstorm ideas on how to rebrand my business. This time I just needed some proper get-shit-done kinds of days. You know all that business and life admin which you never have time to do!?

I hear a lot of my entrepreneurial friends and clients complain that being self-employed can be lonely, and that it’s hard to get things done when no boss is waiting for an assignment to be handed in.

It’s easy to get distracted with social media when nobody is watching. (What irony, I just googled a word and got sucked into LinkedIn!) Working from home also adds the challenge of mixing up work and household duties (let’s just put on the laundry now so I have that done…)

Tips to help you survive and thrive as an entrepreneur

I have noticed that what helps me the most to stay focused and have fun as an entrepreneur is to get out of the house! I need to be in the practice for my regular in-person clients, and in a quiet place for the clients I meet online, but all the admin, creative brainstorming and writing – I can do those things from anywhere!

Here’s a shortlist of tips that have helped me survive and thrive as an entrepreneur:

• Find a business buddy. The person doesn’t need to be doing what you are doing, the only criteria is to find someone who also is self-employed and has more or less the same size business as you.
• Block out time for future planning. Get together with your business buddy and share your business vision for the coming year. Map out important steps together that you can hold each other accountable for. (I recommend doing this twice a year. I do it in June and December.)
• Become a member of an online network to get business support. Find a suitable membership depending on which stage of business you’re in. This is a place where you can ask all the relevant questions related to your business.
• Join or create a mastermind. Find a group of like-minded entrepreneurs to meet with monthly. Bring your current business challenges, and get invaluable ideas from your business peers on how to resolve them. Mine meets online, as my peer group is based in the UK.
• Prioritise your mental health. Make sure to always block time in your calendar for self-care. If you don’t care for yourself, you can’t show up for your clients and your business will suffer. On my list of non-negotiables is going on a retreat once a year. The year before the pandemic started, I created my own retreat in Thailand.

• Set boundaries! With no strict time schedule to follow, it’s easy to work in the evenings and on weekends. It will quickly burn you out if you’re not careful.
• Stop comparing yourself with other entrepreneurs! It’s easy to look at what others are doing and lose track of your own progress. The only thing that matters is where you were half a year ago and where you are now.
• Get help before you need it. This was advice I got from my business mentor that helped me pivot my business during the lockdown. I hired my first virtual assistant, designer and SEO manager before I really needed them. Now they are an important part of my business development.
• Have fun! We didn’t leave the corporate world to work even harder and have more stress! We left to create a healthier work environment and have a bit more fun, didn’t we?! So make sure that you enjoy being your own boss, and celebrate your progress along the way!

Your next step

What is the first step you could take today to make sure your entrepreneurial life will be less lonely and more fun? 

This shortlist is something I needed when I first started as an entrepreneur. I didn’t have any business buddies back then and had no idea how to find a business mentor or any kind of community. 

Part of my bigger vision is to inspire as many people as possible to let go of the notion that we need to figure things out alone – from dealing with emotional baggage to starting and maintaining a business. 

Doing things alone doesn’t make you stronger or more powerful! 

Doing things alone just makes you feel isolated and exhausted. 

I have learned that sharing my ups and downs in life with friends and business buddies, makes me feel more connected, energised and fulfilled. And as a result – my business is thriving!

If you’d like to reflect on your current career situation and learn practical steps to free up time and energy for your career goals download my FREE GUIDE the CAREER CLARITY ROADMAP here.

Love,

You know what I’ve been thinking lately? – That I’d like to be a snail sometimes.

I wouldn’t want to carry a big house around, but I would like to be slow as a snail from time to time.

When I trained as a psychotherapist, a teacher once compared me to a horse; I was the one in the race who always started before all the other ones. Being fast is very familiar to me; I always walked fast, talked fast, wanted to see results fast.

But things have changed since then.

Have you ever thought about an animal you would like to be?

When we were on holiday in Fuerteventura a few weeks ago, I convinced my family that we should go out for Paella on a Sunday afternoon, just like the Spanish families do.

Outside our hotel there was a wide beach with hard sand that you could easily walk on. I was moving my legs in that direction when my husband pointed in another direction and said, “let’s take this way, it’s faster.”

A few years back it would have stayed as a thought, and I would have swallowed the possible confrontation and the inner battle of expressing my own needs.

“Yes sure, let’s do that”, “I’m fine”, “Yes, it sounds like a good idea”… but what I actually wanted to say is:

“I don’t want to do that”,” I’m not fine”, “I prefer to…”

Does this sound familiar to you?

When we don’t get what we want we end up blaming our partners, friends, or managers for not giving us what we need.

It seems to me that many of us are out of sync with our own needs.

“How can I know what my needs are?” a few clients have asked me.

And of course, it’s not a simple question with a simple answer. Many of us grew up learning that our needs are not important, and we have buried them deep down in our consciousness. Usually we have already resigned before we even try to express them:

“I won’t get what I need anyway”, you might think to yourself and quickly adjust to the situation. You say “yes” even if you mean “no”. You say “no” even if you mean “yes”.

Easier right? No confrontation or risk of not being liked.

The problem starts when we see confrontation as “bad”, we’re not seeing the value in confronting another person.

When we confront someone with our needs, we’re letting someone see us. We get in contact with the other person, instead of just being in a diffuse harmony bubble of fake happiness.

The other person sees our needs and has the chance to help us fulfil them.

But how can we express our needs if we don’t know what they are??

The first step is to SLOW DOWN. We can’t know what we want if we’re constantly busy.

I don’t want to take a short cut.

I don’t want to take the faster way.

I don’t want…

I don’t want…

I want…

I want to be a snail sometimes.

Take it slow.

Walk on the beautiful beach instead of on the busy road.

When I take it slow, not rushing around like a headless chicken, and stop trying “to get there faster”, I start to feel my feelings. I hear my heart whispering my needs.

Watching the ocean, breathing in the fresh air, and listening to the strength of the waves coming into the shore is something that makes me feel alive.

“I don’t want to take the faster way, I want to walk along the beach,” I answered my husband.

Yes, it took longer. And we found a place on the way where my daughter started collecting snails.

Saying YES to myself and my needs has been a practice for many years. It didn’t come easy to me, I needed to relearn it. Get back in touch with the child in me who clearly knew what I needed.

It all changed when I stopped listening to the part of me who had learned what the world wanted me to say.

I still forget sometimes, and then I blame and criticise (yes I’m not perfect!).

Behind every criticism there is a wish.

Realising this was a huge game changer for me. When I started to say what I wanted instead of what the other person does wrong, my relationships changed tremendously.

I believe when we start talking about “what is” (I am hoping you can cook today because I don’t feel well) instead of “what is not” (you never support me when I’m feeling weak), we will get much more of what we need.

My biggest role model is my daughter.

The other day I was getting ready to drive her to school. I was stressed, and rushing around our apartment when she sat down on the back of the sofa and looked up and said: “Mama, I need a hug.”

As a reminder you can put a Post-it note on your computer:

Say what you want, don’t say what the other person does wrong!

“When we can name it, we can change it”, Gabby Bernstein says. Starting to name my emotions is something that has helped me understand what my needs are.

If you wish to get more in touch with your needs to feel more confident, I have created something really valuable for you: The one-month tracking journal TIME TO THRIVE.

If you are looking for increased energy, peace and clarity, this journal will support you to be kinder to yourself and create room for the things that really matter.

You’ll be amazed by how this simple life coaching tool transforms your daily life! And I’m giving it away for free!

Get the journal here.

Love,