TIME TO THRIVE BLOG
Are you ready to get what you want?
I heard the question “How much do you want what you want?” some time ago and I find it so powerful. I often hear myself, my clients or friends expressing wishes, I want this or that to happen in my life. Most of the time it stops there. We want something but nothing happens. The question is not only how much we really want it, but also: Are you ready to get what you want? I will give you some ideas what might block you from doing what you want, and I will share what works for me and a very personal story.
The power of our heart
A couple of years ago I decided I wanted a career change. I started to look into what I really wanted and asked myself the question:
What would I regret not to have done, if I continue to work like I do now?
The answer came directly fro my heart – something within psychology. I did not think realistically. I did not let thoughts like “I might be too old to study again” or “There are so many in that business already” hinder me from following my passion. What I did instead was, believing my new career would work out and then take action.
Today I coach individuals in my practice in Berlin and I organize Workshops. In two years I will be able to work as a psychotherapist as well.
If something is really important to us we make sure we get what we want.
Looking back with gratitude
On my last Workshop I recognized one of the participants. It took some time before I remembered that we met at a nightclub about three years ago while celebrating a friend’s birthday. I recalled we had a long chat about life while sitting on a corner of a stage in the darkness. I told her then about my wish for a career change.
We had a chat again a couple of weeks ago after my Workshop, and she said something that really touched me:
AND NOW YOU ARE DOING IT!
It was the first time I really reflected on how it all started:
WITH A DECISION
WITH A BIT OF CRAZINESS
What might block you
Even if you know what you want and it’s really important to you, fear might stop you from doing it. FEAR and WORRY are the most common blockers. Think of how many times fear and worry have stopped you from doing the things you love.
One way to check with yourself is to observe how often you use the word “but”. “I would like to change my job but…” whatever comes after “but” is usually just a story from our mind which has nothing to do with what our heart wants.
We will find endless reasons why we realistically can’t do something, until the day we start looking for the answers in our hearts instead of our minds.
Your heart has reasons your head does not know.
LIST OF POTENTIAL BLOCKERS
You are stuck in unfulfilled dreams. There might be an old story you hold on to, something you once wanted to do (become an actress for an example), and you are not open to and in touch with what you really want today in the present.
You live the dreams of your parents. It is sometimes hard to differentiate what our parents and society have told us we should want, and what we really want.
Fear of failure. With staying the same and doing what you always have done, you don’t have to take the risk of failing.
There is not enough space in your life for what will come. Holding on to an unfulfilling job or still be emotionally involved with an ex-boyfriend will block you from getting where you want to be. There need to be enough room in your life for the new to come.
Keeping yourself small. Working on personal growth and expansion can feel overwhelming at first. Following your passions can provoke feelings like guilt towards family and friends who choose to live differently. Will you be accepted as your true self, doing what you love?
This is what works for me
All of those blockers are familiar to me. I’m totally fine with still having parts of them. Personal development is a life long process, and I decided not to be so hard on myself. Most important to me is that there is movement in my personal life.
Recognizing what stands in your way of living a life you love requires a lot of courage, because when you become aware of the truth- you might have to start taking responsibility.
With constantly challenging myself to face my true self and what I really want, I most of the time recognize when I loose connection with my heart.
When you are in touch with your true self, you can choose.
I used to find decision making really complicated. I was going on forever with arguments for the one or the other alternative, spending hours of worrying and having endless sleepless nights. Today the process feels easier.
I DECIDE WHAT I WANT
Listening to my heart
I BELEIVE THAT I WILL GET IT
Working on my self worth
I LIVE AS IF I ALREADY HAVE IT
Working with visualization
How to use visualization to get what you want
When I was in my mid 30’s I went through my hardest life challenge so far. I was told I might not be able to have children. I was devastated, yet not really believing it was true.
Luckily my family history had proven me that MIRACLES HAPPENS ALL THE TIME, so I started a journey filled with hope and determination. Deep down I knew I was meant to raise a daughter and it was just a matter of time until she would enter my and my husband’s life.
I (almost) had no doubt that I would get pregnant one day. It did not take away the pain, but I somehow knew that a miracle would happen.
One day I met a yoga teacher who made me realize that just believing it will happen might not be enough. She taught me all sorts of yoga poses to relax, but most important – she taught me to visualize my daughter, which I did every evening before going to bed.
I TOOK ONE STEP FURTHER
The yoga teacher challenged me to join her postnatal yoga class. Imagine, there I was, on the mat surrounded with a bunch of pregnant women, and I was the only one without a baby bump.
When I look back today, I feel so touched by my readiness to enter a world I yet did not belong to.
I fully opened my heart, relaxed and surrendered to the universe and felt calmness and certainty.
I was exactly where I wanted to be, even if I was not really there yet.
In less than two years later, our beautiful daughter was born.
When you really decide, and not just wish
When you really commit and not just try
When you really take responsibility and not just hope
That’s when miracles happen
– Doe Zantamata
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Coaching with me
Are you interested to look deeper into what you really want in your life and get guidance to get you there, take the first step and schedule a FREE OF CHARGE coaching consultation via Zoom with me:
Hello, I’m Katarina Stoltz, a life coach and psychotherapist helping international professionals prioritise their well-being so they can achieve fulfillment without burning out.
Welcome to the 'Time To Thrive' blog, where I share real-life stories and offer valuable and practical tips for how to prevent burnout, expand your self awareness and start living your vision.
I don’t offer ‘quick fix’ solutions, but my tips are straightforward and easy to follow. You’re in the right place if you’re looking for some thought-provoking articles and honest life stories.
I’m happy you’re here!