TIME TO THRIVE BLOG
Finding your uniqueness
Many of my recent clients come to me because they feel unsatisfied with their current job situation. They have the desire to find out which job really would make them feel joyful and fulfilled. I support them to take their first step and find their uniqueness.
Do you also dream about a job, which you’re really passionate about?
When you have discovered your unique gift and you start following your heart’s desire, the rest will usually come easy to you.
Before we dive into this topic, I find it important to look at what uniqueness really is. I read an article some time ago about the difference between UNIQUENESS and SPECIALNESS.
I wanted to be special.
Many of us have the desire to be special, but this need usually comes from a place within our self where we don’t feel good enough, and we’re trying to do everything to be special to be loved and approved.
Trying to be special is a reaction to our unfulfilled needs.
I used to work as a photographer for one of the world’s biggest news agencies. I was really good at what I was doing and I had first page publications in news papers like The New York Times and Herald Tribune.
Even though I often enjoyed what I was doing, I paid a high prize for it. I was one of few women in an environment, which was very tough and cynical. I struggled a lot with the technical side of the profession and I had to suppress most of my emotions.
Later I learned that I chose this career path to be special, to not do what my friends were doing, to impress and to receive acknowledgment from my parents and society.
Luckily, one day, my body gave me a clear signal to quit that job and I started to take a closer look at my life.
The journey to fulfillment – find your uniqueness.
My definition of uniqueness is: Authentic expression of your original self.
Uniqueness is something we’re born with, it’s something that is true and brings us joy.
When you are in touch with your uniqueness you are experiencing flow, excitement and enthusiasm. Life feels easy and not forceful.
“Our original self is present from day one, we are born with a soul that shape our destiny.” – Danielle Laporte
The best way to start finding your uniqueness is to ask yourself this question:
Who were you before the world told you who you should be?
It took me until I became a mother and turned 40 to discover my uniqueness.
Questions which will trigger your truth:
What do you know the most about?
What are you intensely interested in?
What is it you want people to know, see, understand, get in life?
Which activities make you feel really alive?
What are you easily great at?
When do you feel amazing?
In terms of things you do, when do you feel most yourself?
What lights your fire?
Blockages on our way.
What usually happens when we start asking ourselves those kinds of questions, is that there is an inner critical voice inside of us that tells us to stop dreaming. This voice blocks us from answering those questions and doing what we really want.
We’re usually very good at finding arguments WHY we can’t follow the path back to our true selves.
“I would like to but…”What will my friends think of me? What if I fail? Will my parents still be proud of me? What if I won’t be able to survive financially?
Sometimes we need to do some personal work and take a closer look at the blockages, which hinder us from finding our uniqueness.
Since a couple of years I work as a Life Coach, and from the very first day I started to work with clients, I have felt enthusiastic, joyful, alive and excited. Helping people to feel better comes natural to me.
My uniqueness is my curiosity, warmth and lightness which help people open up to their authentic self.
A couple of weeks ago my car mechanic picked me up at the metro station, it was heavily raining and we got stuck in his car. He started to ask me about my trip to Thailand which I did recently, and then and he told me story after story about his life.
He shared with me that he works too much, did not have holiday the last 5 years and that he also wants to go to Thailand, but his girlfriend doesn’t like the food. A couple of minutes later he confessed that the relationship was over…and that he doesn’t dare to travel by himself.
There I was, in a car with a 57 year-old car mechanic, whom I hardly knew, listening to his troubles and concerns about life.
This is just one example how people have been opening up in my presence during my whole life. It took me half my life to understand that this is my uniqueness.
When people open up and start to discover their authentic selves, it makes me feel amazing!
What lights you up?
What makes you feel amazing when you do it?
Your uniqueness is not only what you’re good at.
I was a very good photographer. Before that I was a very good production assistant at the state Swedish Television. But none of those jobs really made me feel joyful.
Many of us have heard from an early age, what other people think we’re good at, then we start believing that and try very hard to become even better at it, and we lose access to what we really like doing.
Observe your everyday life.
Another way to discover your uniqueness is to observe your every day life: how people respond to you, what they ask you about and what you like talking about. Start making notes and slowly you will see that the same themes keep on showing up in your life.
We don’t have to travel the world to discover our passion or our uniqueness, we just have to start observing ourselves and find what it is that comes natural to us and what brings us joy and fulfillment.
So what then, when you have found your uniqueness?
When you have found your uniqueness you will start doing things you are passionate about. Your life will not feel like a list of duties anymore.
Doing what you’re passionate about will always move you towards your authentic self.
It’s important to live with a steady curiosity and a strong commitment to being you, and the rest will show up as BIG MAGIC.
I highly recommend the book “Big Magic” by Elisabeth Gilbert for those of you who want to learn how to live a life that is more strongly driven by curiosity than by fear.
How your ideas become original.
Elisabeth Gilbert says: “What stops many people to live a creative life and do what they really love, is that they think they have to come up with something original”.
Most things have been done before. So what if we repeat the same themes? Everything reminds us of something. But once you put your own expression and passion behind an idea, the idea becomes yours.
Like with my blog, I did not come up with something new and original.
As long as we say what we have to say with our whole heart, and follow the truth within ourselves, we will win the hearts of others.
If you’re ready to discover your uniqueness and release blockages on your way, check out my coaching programmes here and book a consultation.
Hello, I’m Katarina Stoltz, a life coach and psychotherapist helping ambitious professionals prioritise their well-being so they can achieve fulfillment without burning out.
Welcome to The Time To Thrive Blog, where I share real-life stories and offer valuable and practical tips for how to prevent burnout, expand your self awareness and start living your vision.
I don’t offer ‘quick fix’ solutions, but my tips are straightforward and easy to follow. You’re in the right place if you’re looking for some thought-provoking articles and honest life stories.
I’m happy you’re here!