How to have less resentment – my “Giving It Up List”

What’s on your list of things to give up this year? It’s the time of year again when I look back at my year and choose my biggest learning. The best way to clear out negativity from 2019 is to honor your experience and celebrate your learning’s. Today I am inspired by Danielle LaPorte and I have created a “Giving It Up list”.

“Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting, it just means we stop carrying the energy of the past into the present” – Yung Pueblo

The purpose of completing your year is to appreciate your journey and celebrate the successes on your way. It also helps you reframe your failures, instead of failures I invite you to look at them as “lessons learned”.

My personal journey

For me two things, my health, and my professional expansion have dominated this year. My body has shown clear symptoms when I have put too much pressure on myself and I will carry the lesson “slow down” into my choices 2020.

My coaching business has expanded based on three things: I feel more confident in my role as a Coach, I let go of an extra job I had, and therefore had more time to focus on what I really love and I have moved into a new practice space.

After four years I have successfully finished my Gestalt therapy training and in January I will start to work as a therapist.

I have learned that when I got in touch with my passion from childhood and focused on my calling rather than trying to make a career, I felt much calmer and more satisfied.

I will use my learning’s from 2019 to set myself up for a fulfilling 2020. Will you join me to start the new decade with more energy and less guilt, regret and resentment?

Powerful questions to ask yourself:

GET READY. Arrive. Put on some relaxing music, pour yourself a hot beverage, let go of all expectations, and take your time to answer each question.

What was the biggest lesson you learned in 2019?

What was the wisest decision you made?

What was the biggest risk you took?

What is the best thing you discovered about yourself?

Which situations/activities drained you?

What were you not able to accomplish?

Which was your hardest challenge?

What are you most grateful for?

Answering those questions enables you to learn what to give up on in 2019 and will give you space for new creations in 2020.

My 2019 learning’s

Last year my best learning was “I can set healthy boundaries and still be a loving person”. This year has also been a lot about boundaries, but even more about trusting my instincts.

I used to overthink all my decisions and ask everyone for their opinion. I undervalued my own instincts. I always, and I mean always, had doubts that my opinion really mattered.

When I was about to write my Psychotherapy Thesis this year, I could not choose which video to use for my analysis. I was paralyzed with fear. Not until I finally wrote about the ambivalence and made it part of my Thesis, I could let go.

This year I have learned to be truer towards myself and others and I took a huge step towards trusting my inner voice. My best learning during 2019 is:

Unclear is unkind. Trusting my instinct and speaking my truth will always lead me to more of what I need in my life.

My “Giving It Up” list

I give up judgments that keep me separate from other humans. I have learned how my projections on others have separated me from feeling connected.

I give up self-doubt. Just because everyone I meet is not giving me a high five, doesn’t mean that I should doubt myself.

I give up being right. I rather feel free and light.

I give up hustling for self-worth. I will not proof my self-worth with trying to do and be perfect. I have learned that perfection is not about high standards; it’s rather about anxiety.

I give up being too serious. Life is too short and I want to laugh more.

I give up second-guessing that I deserve respect.

I give up what people think of me. I will not try so hard to polish my image in everyone else’s eyes.

I give up staying up too late because I owe something more to the day that I just gave my everything to.

I give up explaining myself more than once why I choose to say NO. I would rather not explain myself at all. No justification or defense is needed.

I give up the pressure that I have to read the news and watch violent movies.

I give up believing that my husband will automatically understand what’s in my head. I have learned to say: “I don’t need you to solve my problem, I just need you to listen and give me a hug.”

I give up sulking. If someone hurts me, I don’t store up the hatred and the hurt for months. I don’t expect others to know what’s wrong. I tell them straight and if they don’t get it, I forgive them.

I give up over performing. I forgive myself when I don’t YET know how to do something. I take one thing at a time, no need to have it all figured out YET.

I give up trusting doctors who tell me I shall go to work the day after surgery. TRUST my INSTINCT. Staying in bed for two weeks after my surgery was the wisest decision I took this year. I forgive my doctor, he probably did not know better.

I give up the belief that I should handle all duties myself. Sometimes this year I got help with cooking from the amazing Rita. I finally gave in and let my husband buy a robot vacuum cleaner!

Create your own list

Create your own list and see how you have grown personally and professionally and what you need to leave behind to feel lighter and more energized.

Moving forward

If you wish to get support to start the new decade with less resentment or guilt, schedule a free of charge coaching consultation:

https://calendly.com/katarinastoltz

Wishing you a peaceful ending of 2019 and looking forward to share more insights and learning’s in 2020!