Burnout Doesn’t Always Look Like Burnout—Here’s How to Tell

You don’t need to collapse to be burned out. In fact, many high-functioning women are living with chronic burnout—and calling it “just being tired.” This blog will help you recognise the signs and start choosing something better.

Burnout isn’t always dramatic—it’s quiet

We think burnout looks like breakdowns. Tears. Cancelled commitments. Maybe even quitting your job altogether.

But more often, especially for high-functioning women, burnout is subtle. It doesn’t scream—it simmers.

It’s waking up tired even after a full night’s sleep. It’s going through your workday without any emotional connection to what you’re doing. It’s feeling low-grade resentment at your job, your calendar, your colleagues—but not knowing why.

You’re not crying at your desk—but you are fantasising about walking away from it all.

This kind of burnout hides behind high performance. You’re still functioning. Still hitting deadlines. Still giving to others.

And that’s what makes it so dangerous.

How do you know if you have burnout? (especially when you’re a high achiever)

One of the hardest things about this type of burnout is that you might not realise it’s happening.

You’ve been taught to value resilience, to stay composed, to be helpful and competent. So you keep going. You assume everyone feels like this. That maybe you just need a better morning routine, or a holiday, or to be more grateful.

But deep down, a quiet voice whispers: This isn’t sustainable.

You might start to notice:

• Dreading work on Sunday nights
• Procrastinating things you used to enjoy
• Snapping at your partner or kids for no clear reason
• Fantasising about quitting or moving to a remote cabin

These quiet signs are your body’s way of asking for something different.

I’ve had many clients who were praised at work and admired by friends—but inside, they were barely holding it together. They didn’t feel “bad enough” to ask for help, but they no longer felt like themselves either.

The invisible weight of working abroad

Now add to that the reality of working and living in a country that isn’t your own.

If you’re an international woman in Germany, for example, you’re navigating unspoken cultural codes, language barriers, and the emotional labour of constantly adapting—all while keeping up a professional image.

Even simple tasks take more energy. Scheduling a doctor’s appointment. Opening a bank account. Reading a workplace memo in a second language. Explaining your background—again.

It’s no wonder you’re exhausted.

But because you “chose this life,” you might feel guilty for feeling off. You tell yourself to be grateful. To make it work. To push through.

This pressure to prove yourself—to “get it right” in a foreign context—can deepen your burnout without you even noticing it.

Want to hear more on this? I recently joined psychotherapist Nora Dietrich on the Inside Deutschland podcast to unpack what burnout really looks like for international women navigating life and work abroad. We talked about people-pleasing, perfectionism, cultural stress, and what it actually takes to start feeling like yourself again.

Listen to the episode here.

Why bubble baths won’t solve this

You can’t meditate or meal-prep your way out of this kind of burnout.

That’s not to say small self-care rituals don’t help—they absolutely do. But when your exhaustion is coming from deep misalignment, what you need isn’t more candles or green smoothies.

You need space to ask:

• What am I tolerating that’s draining me?
• Where have I been silencing myself to keep others comfortable?
• What would I choose if I weren’t afraid of disappointing anyone?

These aren’t quick fixes. They require honesty. Courage. And support.

Because when you’re this deep in survival mode, it’s hard to see clearly. You’re just trying to get through the day.

What real support looks like

You don’t need more pressure. You need a pause. A space to exhale. Someone to sit with you as you sort through the fog and find your way back to yourself.

That’s what coaching and therapy offer. Not advice or life hacks—but a calm, grounded container where you can tell the truth about how you feel and begin rebuilding in a way that honours who you are.

It’s not about quitting everything and starting from scratch. It’s about slowing down enough to hear what’s true—and creating changes from that place.

I’ve walked this path myself. I’ve supported women through it too. And I can tell you: the moment you stop pushing and start listening to yourself, everything begins to shift.

Book a free coaching consultation if you’re ready to stop spinning and start feeling like yourself again. We’ll talk gently and honestly about what’s going on underneath the surface—and what it could look like to feel energised and at peace again. Then I’ll support you to take steps forward to a more sustainable life.

You don’t have to burn your life down to build something better. You just have to be willing to begin.

Love