Practice Staying Calm During Trying Times

It’s week 9 of… I was going to write “lockdown” or “home retreat” but none of those descriptions fit anymore to what this feels like right now.

I found a new word, inspired by the trauma therapist Edith Eger, who says there is no such thing as a crisis. She says there are only “transitions”.

It’s week 9 of our global transition and I would like to share parts of my process with you and give you tips on how to practice “choosing calm”.

Choosing calm.

I often hear that my clients appreciate my calmness and non-judgmental presence. Being calm and slowing down doesn’t come naturally to me. My natural temperament is loud and fast.

According to acclaimed author Brené Brown, choosing calm is a practice, and I couldn’t agree more! I have been practicing “choosing calm” for a couple years and it has changed my life.

The practice of “choosing calm” has been my most important practice during Covid-19.

When we choose calm before a panic response, it usually has a tremendous impact on the people in our lives.

“Our calm can be as contagious as our anxiety.” – Brené Brown

If you feel you have a tendency to panic and overreact right now, these three tips from Brené Brown will support you:

– Be quick to think and slow to respond and ask yourself: Do I have the information needed to make a decision or form a response?

– Stay mindful that a panic response produces more panic and fear.

– Ask yourself: Will freaking out help the situation? 

Going deeper

Over the past two weeks I have gone deeper, allowing myself to feel it all. It has been painful, but I know I am passing through a huge portal to transformation.

The world is asking us to get off the fast track. To slow down. To go from “doing” to “being.” And I’m listening.

I haven’t felt this tired and at the same time this ALIVE in a very long time. The other day I was listening to the author Shefali Tsabary, and it became clear to me that this aliveness comes from living much more in the present moment.

Normally, I would spend many of my waking hours planning my future. But I can’t plan a future that is so uncertain, so I’m only left with this present day.

I can only take one step, slowly… forward.

This stillness and uncertainty can be so scary, and it also gives us a great opportunity to practice presence.

Locked down in our internal homes.

According to Shefali Tsabary, the reason some of us are feeling panic is not only because of the virus, but because we are locked down in our internal homes. We are locked down in the present moment. For most of us, this is a place we haven’t been to before.

All our distractions have been taken away.

This is the time…

…to take an inventory of your life.

…to take time for you, who went ignored for so long.

…to get to know your loved once better.

…to find new ways to connect with one another.

…to raise your consciousness.

RETHINK. REDESIGN. RESET. 

How do you want to remember this time?

When I check social media, I see a lot of productivity and it always makes me wonder if we’re in a productivity contest. Sometimes I unconsciously join the competition, until I wake up and remind myself that:

My worth is not dependent on how productive I am.

I want to use this time to STAY AWAKE, slow down, observe and feel.

I want to remember this time as the transition to a life much more lived in the present moment.

Life outside.

Sometimes I’m so caught up in the effects of the lockdown that I forget about the actual virus.

This is when I pick up my phone and call one of my best friends who works as a nurse in Stockholm, to see how her day in the hospital has been.

I pause. I sit still. I take it all in. And then I choose calm. One foot forward.

I came to realize the other day that I don’t want to “get it all back”. I’m not in a rush to leave this special time in my life just yet, even if some days I feel I can’t take it anymore.

It’s a hell of a roller coaster ride and I don’t know the path ahead. But my curiosity about what it feels like living like this, is stronger right now than the wish to “get it all back”.

Welcoming it all.

“Happiness and feeling good all the time is not the number one thing of being well. It’s bypassing being a REAL human being.” – Danielle la Porte

Life is beautiful and messy.

My work is not about making you feel positive all the time, my work is inviting you to get to know both your beauty and your mess, feel your feelings and welcome your whole self.

Coaching offer.

If you want to learn more how to practice “choosing calm”, book a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/katarinastoltz

I invite you all to take one step, slowly… forward.

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